I think I have come upon a reason for my indecisiveness. And it all boils down to cost versus reward. When I choose some obnoxious challenge, I have to ask myself:
What will it cost? What is my reward?
Now, I am not specifically talking about monetary cost and reward. Some races do cost a lot, but that is not usually a big concern. And I am not fast enough to worry about a reward or prize purse from my efforts. Of course, I am still holding out for being the new spokesman for The Hair Club For Men, but I think my Friar Tuck hair cut has gone too far for their image.
But after the money discussion, the other costs and rewards are much harder to quantify. For rewards, it can be pretty straight forward: a sense of accomplishment, anticipation of the race, better health, raising money for charity, more energy, and lots of strange and disgusting things happening that I can blog about.
The costs, however, are much more difficult to see: pain, fear, fatigue, less energy, and lots of strange and disgusting things happening to you. And on top of all of those is probably the biggest cost: the one your family pays. And that is a big one.
I have always said that it is much easier to stay in shape than it is to get in shape. I am sure there is some high priced government research project that proves that. And I did a great job from about 2004 to 2013 of staying in good shape. But the 100-miler at Rocky Raccoon took a lot out of me physically and emotionally. And it took a lot from the family as well.
When I wasn’t training running ridiculous amounts of miles, I was exhausted from running ridiculous amounts of miles or I was emotionally checked out from running ridiculous amounts of miles and worrying about running ridiculous amounts of miles. And I did that for 2 years before I finally finished the race! My indecisiveness is becoming a little more clear to me.
I usually have no problem pulling the trigger on some insane challenge. But right now, I can’t find something ludicrous enough to amp up the reward without being crushed by the cost. But I am still looking. And eventually I will find something.
On a side note: I worked out tonight. It was a simple strength training routine using moderate weights concentrating on form and easing into it. Translation: I will not be able to walk or feed myself tomorrow.