How Movies Scare the Crap Out of You

How many kids avoided the water like the plague when the movie, Jaws, came out?  I did.  It scared the hell out of me.  I can distinctly remember seeing the movie for the first time with Brian Allred.  He had already been to see it once, so he knew the scariest part.  Everyone knows the scariest part, right?

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So we are sitting on the front row of the theater as Richard Dreyfuss dives down to look at the damaged boat.  Brian leans over and says, “You are about to jump.”  I blew him off.  Then I cleared the theater seat by 4 foot when the head popped out of the hole in the boat.  My only saving grace is that I did that to my dad when it came out on T.V. and he almost fell out his chair.

For years after that movie came out, I would swim faster in my home pool when the shadow of a float passed by.  I don’t know how, but it was possible for a big shark to get into my little pool.  Fortunately for me, I have gotten over my phobia of sharks and have found new ones.  By the way, has anyone noticed the resemblance between an anaconda and the hose from a pool sweep.  I have.

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This morning, I went for a 10 mile run while Mason was swimming.  I haven’t brought him to swim in 7 or 8 months, so it was nice to run some place different.  I headed out from the pool when it was still a little dark, so the visibility on the little path through the woods was limited.  My only concern was for snakes especially with all the downed branches and leaves.  I ran along scanning the ground for any movement, when I heard something big bust through the brush and down into the creek. WHAT WAS THAT???

During the hurricane, we have been watching a new show called American Hoggers.  It is a pretty straight forward show.  There are a crap load of wild boars tearing up lots of stuff, and they go try to capture or kill them.  As I heard the crashing in the woods, my first thought was that it HAD TO BE a big boar.

No it wasn’t the little fluffy pigs that everyone loves to cuddle.

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It was the monster, I eat skinny white guys for breakfast type of hog.  As I was quickly reaching Usain Bolt speed, I am sure I heard a grunt, a squeal and saw a flash of a 12 inch long tusk.  But I was moving fast, so don’t hold me to that last part.

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Just as I was reaching warp speed, “WHAM”, I ran into a spider web.  Great.  Here we go again.  I start flailing around trying to get the web off me while looking over my shoulder for the raging boar which had to be close.  And as much as I hate spiders, my thought process quickly left the boar or any concept of a small spider and went straight to the biggest spider I could think of.  (By the way, do not Google “little spider” and look at the images.)

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All of this had happened in the first 1.5 miles of the run and I was already mentally and physically exhausted from the fear and adrenaline rush roller coaster.  I did manage to finish the 10 mile run even though it felt like I was running in a fog because of the humidity.  It sucked, but I got it done.

I will have to make sure I watch all of the Friday the 13th movies before my next night trail run.  That would add a little thrill especially if I have some friends with me!

By the way, have you seen the movie, “The Birds”?  I have…….

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