Runner’s High or Just Plain High

I have noticed a disturbing trend concerning some of my workouts lately.  I say lately, but this could be a long term trend that I am just now identifying.  For whatever reason, I have become prone to hallucinating during my long runs.  As far as I know this is not one of the symptoms of a “runner’s high.”  Usually that is where you feel elated, uplifted and have the sensation you could run for ever.  Nope.  Not it at all.  Mine is closer to blurred vision, mild to moderate confusion, and the sensation that dropping dead in the road would feel good.

Most of my hallucinations I have been able to logically explain.  I am near sighted, but I usually wear my contacts when I run.  The only time I don’t wear my contacts is around dusk and that is because of the gnats.  Running into a swarm of gnats with contacts on is similar to hitting a swarm of love bugs with your car windshield.  They splat.  The only difference is that contacts don’t have windshield wipers.  Instead you can only attempt to gouge out your eyes as the gnat juice starts to burn and you ponder using your Gatorade bottle as an eye wash station.  And yes, I learned that lesson the first time.

In the past, I have had ropes turn out to be snakes and snakes turn out to be ropes.  I have seen horses fly across the road in the fog.  I saw a huge deer go under the bottom strand of a barb wire fence and a small doe clear the top strand.  And  cows?  Sometimes I can never tell if they are in the field or on the road until I step in a pile of cow shit.

In the past few weeks, things have escalated.  About a week and a half ago I went on a Friday night, post high school football game, 10:30 pm long run.  And it was dark.  During the first mile, I saw a possum.  The second mile, I saw an armadillo (I actually saw the same one about 6 more times.)  And during the third mile, a pack of coyotes started howling on one side of the road while a pack of dogs answered from the other side.  Now none of this was part of the hallucination!

The fun didn’t start until about 12 miles in when I started getting dehydrated.  I was trying to stretch my water as long as possible to keep from having to go back to the house.  By now, the shadows on the road from the patches in the asphalt looked like holes and I kept trying to step down into them.  All the animals got quiet (or my hearing was gone) which could only mean that the coyotes were now stalking me.  And the armadillo which I passed so often got tired of running from me and just stood there and flipped me off.  So I headed back to the house for more water.  I did manage to go back out and hit my total of 16 miles for the night.

And then there was my long run last Saturday afternoon.  Christine and I both headed out around 4:30 in the heat and 1000% humidity.  That entire run was one big hallucination: I felt like I was underwater the whole time with 50 pounds of bricks tied to my butt.  Of course, as I headed back towards my driveway 14.3 miles later, I had to wave at the meerkat sitting in my neighbors yard.

It did not surprise me to see a meerkat in South Louisiana.  Especially after seeing a penguin on the road last summer.  But the meerkat ended up being the rat looking dog from a few houses down.  Like I said, there is usually a logical explanation.

Many of you may be wondering if I am just plain high.  Sorry.  I was a member of the Just Say No club even before Reagan was elected.  Actually mine was closer to Just Say Hell No!  That was not my cup of tea or mushrooms or anything else.  Of course, it is quite possible that I have many dead brain cells due to multiple heat strokes, dehydration and oxygen deprivation from the training this summer.  And maybe that can explain my pre-run loss of brain functioning this afternoon.

I headed out around 4:00 this afternoon for a 65 minute run which included 20 intervals.  As soon as I headed down the street, I noticed I was limping pretty severely and my left foot seemed to be hitting the road like a brick.  Now my body is pretty beat up right now, so I could be limping.  But it my right foot that is giving me all troubles.  Anyway, I did my intervals in the scorching sun.  I finished my workout.  And as I was putting my shoes on the drying rack in the garage, I noticed my left shoe looked different.  It was missing the insole.

After my underwater run Saturday, I had taken my insoles out of my shoes so they could dry more quickly.  And this afternoon, I put the one in my right shoe and completely ignored the one for my left shoe.  Does that disturb anyone else but me?  Should I make an appointment with a neurologist?  What is going on?

Oh well, I am going to prop my feet up, drink a glass of red wine, and kill a few more brain cells.

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September 28th, 2009

Runner’s High or Just Plain High | Running on Faith